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| Trash Found on Side of the Road in Front of Buzzy’s Country Store |
Dear Jacqueline,
Don’t know you, but feel like I do after having just picked up your trash that you deposited on the roadside in front of my store – Buzzy’s. Couple observations based upon what I’ve seen of your trash: 1) It appears from the above discarded document that you are pregnant. If true, you may want to slack back on the McDonald’s junk food, the wrappers and boxes from which were also strewn along the road’s shoulder. 2) Since baby care, diapers, etc. are going to cost you some real coin, you may also want to go slow on buying all those scratch off lotto tickets which were also strewn along the road. 3) And as for the thrown away, uncompleted job application found amidst the other trash, that may be something that you might want to re-think. The job application, along with your other trash, to include the Ross receipt, are in my dumpster if you need them.
P.S. Sure hope that the brown stain on your doctor’s order (above) was coffee vs. whatever else it could be. Also, next time you feel disposed to tossing your trash out in front of Buzzy’s Country Store, I won’t be so careful about protecting your identity. (Then again, this quasi-threat probably means little to you, because it doesn’t appear that you are too worried about keeping private things private to begin with.)