Speaking of chairs and old farts, this joke seems timely:
A family admitted their elderly mom into a nursing home hoping that she would be well cared for.
First morning of mom’s stay, the nursing home staff got her up, fed her and then placed her in a chair by the window. She appeared to be doing ok, but after a while, she slowly started to lean over sideways in her chair. The staff immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.
However, after a while she started to tilt to the other side of the chair. The staff once more brought her back to an upright position. However, this went on all morning. Whenever Mom would tilt, the staff would straighten her back up.
Later in the day the family arrived to see how Mom was adjusting to her new home. “So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.
“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”
