Here is a good joke told to me by Brian Barnhill:
A man in a Florida Supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him they only sell whole heads. The man persists and asks to see the manager.
The boy says he’ll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room the boy says to the manager, “Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce”. As he finishes his sentence, he turns to see the man standing right behind him, so he quickly adds “and THIS nice gentleman offered to buy the other half”.
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed by the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who can think on their feet. Where are you from son?”
“Well why did you leave Canada?” the manager asked.
“Really” said the manager, “My wife is from Canada”.
“No shit” said the boy, “who’d she play for?”
Warren Zevon co-wrote this tune along with Mitch Albom. (I think of Albom most Tuesdays as I grab lunch with my buddy Charlie Harless. Mitch met Morrie; I meet Charlie.) The song also features David Letterman singing the refrain “Hit Somebody” (1:30 mark etc..)
