I invited a friend to lunch awhile back but she declined saying that she had to attend her Office Pot Luck Thanksgiving luncheon instead. I wished her good luck and secretly thanked God I didn’t have to attend any “office luncheons” that I didn’t want to any more.
You see, back when I worked on Base I used to hate all those office luncheons. At these affairs you sat around the conference room with plates in hand and made small talk with annoying folks who, while you had to work with them, you didn’t necessarily want to have anything more to do with them than you had to. It was one of the few times in my work life that I wanted lunch to be over with as quickly as possible. All I wanted to do was get back to my desk and do something else, even it meant work.
As for the Office Christmas Party Luncheon it was more of the same only worse. In addition to sitting around eating and making small talk, now you had to participate in some White Elephant gift exchange crapola that went on forever and just prolonged the agony. Towards the end of my career I would actually fake a Doctor or Dental appointment and take leave to avoid those dismal, dull affairs. (In case you didn’t get that reference it’s from Mick’s 19th Nervous Breakdown lyrics “You’re the kind of person that you meet at certain dismal dull affairs.”)
Following the Office Christmas Party, then there was the big Department Christmas Party for everyone in your extended workplace. This event was usually held away from the office and somewhere that served alcohol. Bear in mind now that the bulk of my 37 years working for the Navy coincided with the bulk of my heavy drinking period. This was not a coincidence now that I think about it.
So, at those affairs where alcohol was served, I had to be really careful because after a couple shots of Egg Nog, a few beers and several trips outside to get high, I completely lost my filter so to speak. Needless to say, there were some early career embarrassing moments. I quickly learned that me, drinking and drugging at the Office Christmas Party while socializing with my bosses and co-workers was not a very good combination. Accordingly, the office Christmas Party became one of the few and rare occasions where I wouldn’t party.
This article from Deadspin summed up my approach:
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| https://adequateman.deadspin.com/the-responsible-adults-guide-to-boozing-around-the-holi-1830592173 |
There are lots of drinking songs about doing something dumb when drunk, but this one is in a class by itself mostly because of Hank Jr.’s appearance: