Of all the jokes told in Buzzy’s Country Store, Little Johnny jokes probably win the prize for Most Often Told. No matter the circumstance or event, there is always a Little Johnny joke to be told about it. For example on the subject of snowmen someone told this Little Johnny joke that I am not sure I completely “get” but nevertheless it is still funny:
Teacher: “What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?”
 |
| https://en.wikipedia.org |
Little Johnny: “Three snowballs.”
It got me wondering about the origins of Little Johnny jokes. After spending more time than I should have looking for how Little Johnny jokes came about, I gave up trying to do so. However, I did read a lot of Little Johnny jokes in doing so.
The closest explanation I came to the origins of Little Johnny jokes was this Wiki note that there was an Italian version of Little Johnny known as Pierino (Little Peter.) Pierino appeared in several funny and erotic Italian movies in the 70’s and 80’s. However, it seems to me that Little Johnny jokes pre-date the 70’s and that Pierino was probably based on Little Johnny versus the other way around.
Regardless, here is an old Italian-based Little Johnny joke that has recently been updated:
A history teacher told her class. “Today we are going to review famous historical quotes. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?”
Little Johnny was the only student to raise his hand and when called upon by the teacher said “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good Johnny” said the teacher and continued with “Who said, ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People’?”
Once again, there was no response from the students except for Little Johnny who answered “Abraham Lincoln, 1863”.
The teacher complimented Little Johnny but said to the rest of the class “You should be ashamed. Little Johnny is Italian and yet he knows more about American history than you do.”
She then heard a loud whisper from someone saying “Screw the Italians.” She asked “Who said that?” Little Johnny replied “Adolph Hitler, 1943.”
Just then a student in the back said, “I think I’m gonna puke.” The teacher looked around and asked, “All right! Now who said that?”
Again, Little Johnny answered, “George Bush Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yelled out “Oh yeah? Suck this!”
Little Johnny jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher passed out on the floor, someone said,
“Oh shit, we are so screwed!”
Little Johnny said quietly, “The American people, November 9, 2016.”
Video-wise, here is a funny Little Johnny video shown to me by Brian Barnhill: