Dope Jokes

Granted, dope jokes are a small genre within the overall joke spectrum, but here are a couple good ones to get you off.

They said that pot is a Gateway drug that leads to harder drugs, but all it ever led me to was McDonalds.
A man confided to his friend “I think my wife may be dealing drugs.  Yesterday I was running late for work when the house phone rang. I answered but before I could say anything a male voice on the line said “Hey honey, is that dope gone yet?” 
 A sixth-grade teacher tells her class that today they’re going to have a spelling bee. Instructing the first kid to stand up, she asks, “Robert, what does your father do for a living? Say it nice and clearly, and then spell it out.” “My father’s a baker,” answers Robert. “B-A-K-E-R.” 

The teacher says “Very good. Now, Cecily your turn?” Cecily says “Doctor. D-O-C-T-O-R,”  The teacher then calls on Wally who stands up and says, “Shipbuilder. S-H-I-T—” “No, Wally,” interrupts the teacher. “Try again.” “Ship . . . builder. S-H-I-T—” “No, no, no. Go to the blackboard and write it out and you’ll see your mistake.” 

As Wally heads toward the front of the class, the teacher turns to the next child, Lenny, who jumps up and says, “My father’s a bookie. That’s B-double O-K-I-E, and I’ll lay you six to one that that dope puts ‘shit’ on the board.” 
Fact – mathematician potheads do not celebrate 4/20.  They already did so on 1/5.
What is the difference between a drunk and a pothead at a stop sign? The drunk runs it; the pothead waits for it to turn green. 

(Quick Buzzy aside here – occasionally I will poll my Buzzy friends and customers as to whom they would rather encounter in an oncoming car – a texter, a drunk or a pot head?  The pot head is the most common response and why not – they are usually only driving 20 MPH!)

And speaking of life’s ironies, lucky girl Britney has been cleared to hire her own lawyer so she can now turn around and sue her dad (click here.)  Somewhere a law firm is popping champagne.  Somewhere her Dad is thinking “Oh well, nice while it lasted,”
P.S.  Today’s Washington Post has a good article titled “The Five Myths About Marijuana.” Myth Number 1 talks about marijuana being a gateway drug (click here)  and notes “Ninety-nine percent of those addicted to other drugs started with milk” is a true statement — and also perfectly meaningless.”

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