Shaggy Dog Sunday

My definition of a Shaggy Dog joke is one that goes on forever and then the punchline is so lame that you laugh just because you are relieved that the joke is finally over.

And speaking of punchline, it reminds me of this “shaggy dog” joke as follows:

“I once heard a shaggy dog joke about Jonestown; but after 5 minutes I was ready for the punchline.”

OK, so maybe that one is more of an example of Sick Humor than it is a genuine Shaggy Dog joke.

The Shaggy Dog joke came to my mind when I stumbled upon the following joke as I was looking for info on the Buzzyblog post Last Wills and Testament earlier this week.

A man lay dying in his hospital bed. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons are with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.

When all is ready, he begins to speak.

“To my son Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef Houses. To my daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between markers 100 and Tavernier. To my son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Centre. To my dear wife Sarah, please take all the residential buildings on the bay side on Blackwater Sound.”

The nurses and witnesses are stunned. Their mouths lay open and you could hear a pin drop. No one realized this man’s extensive holdings, and as Thomas quietly slips away, the head nurse says: “Mrs. Pender, I’m so sorry. Your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property. His generosity is utterly amazing.”

The wife Sarah turns slowly and replies “The asshole had a paper route.”

But since it is Sunday, I will conclude with this Shaggy Dog joke that has a semi-religious theme:

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the River.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.
The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk looks back and says, “Yes, Preacher… I sure am.”
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right backup. “Have you found Jesus?” the preacher asked.
“No, I didn’t!” said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, “Now, brother, have you found Jesus?”
“No, I did not Reverend.”
The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, “My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?”
The old drunk wipes his eyes and asks the preacher… “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”

At Buzzy’s later today we’ll have some football games on for you to watch along with some things for you to eat and drink. Can’t promise you any shaggy dog jokes however.

Musically, there have been some shaggy dog songs such as this one from J Geils on their Love Stinks album. Can’t understand why it was never a hit for them. (Now that was an example of Sarcastic Humor. (Still think that there should be a designated sarcasm font!))