Untimely Death

Pat Birmingham sent me the following which is an obituary that was allegedly printed in the London Times:

> Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
> with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
> records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as
> having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
> – Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
> – Why the early bird gets the worm;
> – Life isn’t always fair;
> – and maybe it was my fault.
> Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than
> you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
> His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
> regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual
> harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
> mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
> only worsened his condition.
> Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
> they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
> It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to
> administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents
> when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
> Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
> criminals received better treatment than their victims.
> Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in
> your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
> Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
> that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was
> promptly awarded a huge settlement.
> Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his
> wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
> He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
> I Know My Rights
> I Want It Now
> Someone Else Is To Blame
> I’m A Victim
> Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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