Grumpy Old Men have been around forever. But now it seems that our Make America Grumpy Again President has taken it to a whole nother level as every day he bitches about something. (Joke break – Papa Bear says “My porridge is too hot.” Moma Bear says “My porridge is too cold.” Baby bear says “Bitch, bitch, bitch that’s all I ever hear around here.”)
With that in mind then here are my thoughts on some things that piss me off, none of which involve collusion with the Russians.
I find that as I get older I get more impatient about things that never used to bother me much. For example, I am now less patient waiting in line behind old people despite the fact that I am officially one of them.
At one time I was able to dismiss and excuse old folks and their doddering behaviors. Now however, when I am behind them in a line somewhere they get on my nerves. I find myself thinking of George Clooney in the movie Up in Air when he advises his younger assistant travelling with him to never get behind old people in the security line because they don’t seem to realize how little time they have left.
But the real pisser for me is old people who try to use the self check out scanners at a store when they really shouldn’t. I recommend a sign be posted in front of the self check out scanners saying “If you are over the age of 65, just give it up and do not even try to use these self check out scanners. Please proceed to the regular check out registers.”
I was at Lowes the other day and all 4 of their scanners were being used by oldsters who were putzing around with them like a couple of virgins on their wedding night. It wasn’t going smoothly for any of them. They had problems finding the bar codes, problems scanning the items, problems resolving the dreaded “Unexpected item in baggage area” message and just problems period. One couple even began arguing about which one of them was doing it wrong. I refrained from saying to them “Neither one of you should even be trying to use this.”
The store’s employee overseeing the scanner operations did a good job showing the oldsters what to do and in two cases she actually did the entire scanning of the items for them. For one couple, she even had to return back to them after scanning their items because now they were confused about doing the payment transaction. The clerk even did that for them also.
All of which led me to wonder “Why did they even waste their time and everybody else’s trying to use the scanners?” It would have been far quicker for them to have used the regular registers with a clerk to do the transactions for them.
However, the Lowes young lady working the scanners was obviously used to all the churn and was very patient with all of the older customers including me. I successfully scanned my one item, paid and left. As I did so, she gave me a nice smile that I read as her way of saying “Thank God you are one old fart I didn’t have to help.”
Obviously she certainly wasn’t as jaded as was this clerk who had a different view about having to assist folks at the self service checkout: .
Here is Bruce on being in love with the checkout girl. Some critics have panned this as perhaps his worst song ever, but I think it’s pretty good. Like Bruce, back before I became a grumpy old man, I visited a supermarket or two just to flirt with the checkout girls working there. Nothing wrong with that is there?