On the topic of things people send to me (yesterday’s post) here is a Sunday-Church-Goin item Ted Yeatman emailed me:
As a band of squirrels had become quite a problem, the Presbyterian
church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel
infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that
the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere
with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the
baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked
the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as
many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans
of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with
alcohol. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk
squirrels can do
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They
baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now
they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
And on the subject of Church, great tune here from Eric. Features some catchy lyrics including “Funny how a melody sounds like a memory.”