“When it comes to bullshit, I’ve heard it all.” We were coming home from the airport and as Buzzy was relaxing sipping a Black Velvet and Seven, he noted how much he enjoyed traveling and not only seeing new places but also meeting new people. He specifically mentioned some guy we had had dinner with a couple times on the trip and said “I know he got on your nerves; but there was nothing wrong with him other than he was full of bullshit. I didn’t have a problem with him because it went in one ear and came out the other. When it comes to bullshit, I’ve heard it all and it doesn’t bother me.”
Keep in mind that when Buzzy told me this, he had been behind the counter for over 50 some years and thus it is safe to say that he probably had heard it all. Given that I have only logged 16 years of bullshit duty behind the counter, I have heard a lot of it, but nowhere near what Buzzy experienced. For example, here are some things I recently overheard said in Buzzy’s that made me smile and think “I haven’t heard that one before.”
“You don’t serve no f’ing scalloped potatoes to me on Thanksgiving just because you’re too lazy to mash ’em. Gimme mashed potatoes or don’t even bother having potatoes at all.” Someone discussing going to his bother and sister-in-law’s for Thanksgiving.
Re: Christmas prep, this was noted “Someone asked me if I was ready for Christmas and I told them “Hell no, I ain’t even ready for today, much less something 3 weeks away.”
This from a young guy who had recently split up with his lady friend. “My old man told me that your penis will make you think stupid. When women want to leave you, let ’em go.”
And while on the subject of relationships, or lack thereof, this was said in Buzzy’s: “A man told me that when women won’t screw you, they’ll figure out why. Don’t you do it for them.”
Then there was an older, i.e. my age, friend talking about going duck hunting the next day with his son and nephew. “Best thing about going with them is, I don’t have to wear my waders.” (Leads me to conclude that maybe there are some advantages to getting older.)
And continuing with hunting-related quotes, while I did not catch what subject was being discussed here, when I overheard the following, I had to write it down just because it rhymed and sounded kinda cool: “It ain’t no fun, when the rabbit’s got the gun.” Too, I found this tune with that title: