The last time I invited a very smart, accomplished and business-minded woman into helping me out, I ended up marrying her. However, since that has turned out to be a pretty good thing for me, here is my plan to persuade Sheryl Sandberg into coming to help me out at Buzzy’s Country Store.
First, I am going to send her the following letter. Look it over and lemme know if you think that I need to add or delete anything. Secondly, I will invite her down for a visit and wine and dine her Buzzy-style. I plan to aim for a Hot Dog Thursday to really impress her. (I may even get Cousin Clyde to roll out some of his deer sausage for her.)
Here then is a draft of my letter:
Dear Sheryl,
Congrats on your recent retirement from Meta. (Just curious if renaming Facebook that stupid name had any influence on your decision?)
I know that you are being flooded with job offers but do want you to at least consider my offer to come help me out at Buzzy’s Country Store. Right now I am good staff-wise on folks tending bar and working the counter, but I could give you some hours as a fillin when needed.
But where I really need some help is in my ordering and inventory control side of the house particularly keeping the beer case stocked up. And then I want to start having some special events again once this Covid mess really is gone. Also, I need some technical support on this new blog format. So don’t think I’m just offering you a do-nothing job here because Buzzy’s has plenty to keep you busy.
Since I know that folks in your ranks like clever job titles like CEO, CFO, and COO, I was thinking that at Buzzy’s you would be the overall manager and accordingly, we would refer to you as the BM i.e. Buzzy’s Manager. Simple but very clear right?
Know you’re busy plotting your next move, but how about dropping by Buzzy’s in the future and see if maybe this would be something you are interested in doing. Note too that I was 55 when I made the move from Government worker to running Buzzy’s. You at 53 are moving at a good time in your life to do something completely different than what you were doing in your previous job. (I won’t mention your role in how the Russians and Cambridge Analytica were able to monkey with the 2016 election. Ok, that was a cheap shot, but I just wanted to let you know that you can’t be thin skinned and hang at Buzzy’s.) Think it over and let me know if you are interested in the BM job at Buzzy’s.
P.S. I read where you are getting married this summer. Two things – Buzzy’s is an ideal spot to host your pre and/or post wedding party at no charge to you. Two, I could get you a nice discount on booze for the event. Think about it. Working at Buzzy’s and all these perks to boot!
That ought to at least pique her interest don’t you think?
Heard this Paul song yesterday and haven’t stopped humming it since. A little repititious but the bass alone is worth the time to listen to it.