Anniversary Musings

Had the training-wheels-wife and I stayed married, today we would have been celebrating a 49th wedding anniversary. However, we only managed to notch roughly half of that milestone. I tell folks that I was happily married to the first wife for 20 years but unfortunately I was married to her for 23 years. Those last couple of years of the marriage were just no fun for either of us.

Still, to quote Carole “I’m glad for what we had” and of course, am very glad and grateful for the 4 red heads that we managed to produce in between our smooth start and our rocky finish. All things considered, I think I can look back and say that hooking up with her was not the worst thing that I’ve ever done in my life. It may not have been the best thing; but it certainly was not the worst.

And today, while this would-be anniversary does cross my mind, there was a time when it didn’t really mean much, if anything, to me. One such year, Mom invited me down to dinner on this date and as she served up dessert she remarked “Honey, I know that this has been a tough day for you so I’m glad that you joined me for dinner.” I asked her “What are you talking about?” She replied “You would have been married 25 years today.” (I think it was 25, but it may have been 30 – I can’t really recall for certain.) I said “Mom, I wasn’t even thinking about that until you brought it up just now.”

She apologized and I immediately felt bad for raining on her nice gesture or at least not thanking her for her consideration and efforts on my behalf. Mom and I would oftentimes get our signals crossed up on things and this was one of those times. She sighed and simply said “OK, I won’t do this again.” And she didn’t, ever again. She fixed dinner for me many times after that, but never again did she do so on 14 July.

And while I don’t wish anything to, for nor about the ex, I do wish that Mom was still here so I could have dinner with her today – regardless the reason or the occasion.

But like Carole said – it’s too late:

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